Home Tour Diaries The breaking of the fellowship

The breaking of the fellowship

by Midnight

Ooooooh my head. Wander out to the beach to see if last night really happened.

All traces of our night time dip have disappeared and the beach looks as pristine as before. Through blurred vision I see vultures and a rubber tyre washed up overnight.

Return to our luxury room. A toilet visit reveals my bowels are now lined with liquorice after consuming gallons of Mackeson over the past week.

Smiling Martin arrives to pick us up and there are a few sore heads in evidence. For once we are subdued going to the ground. Martin seems worried by this and attempts polite conversation.

The cricket looks as if it is going to end in a very tame draw and important travel decisions have to be made with the test ending tomorrow.

Herbie decides on an extra day in Barbados and books a flight out of Trinidad at lunchtime on day five of the test. Vimto decides to join him , carefully concealing his plans until the last minute like the Cincinnati Kid and seemingly forgetting that Streetfly has already arranged some more classy accommodation for him in Tobago.

Wycombe changes his mind every 15 minutes but eventually decides to throw his lot in with Herbie & Vimto. Flight are booked over the phone.

At the ground I see my “old mate” Ryan Sidebottom from Dunedin who happily acknowledges with a photo. This brings back rather unhappy memories of when I lost my temper for the first and only time in Napier with Roger Ave-it when he shouted “ We’ll let you off about your dad having played for Man United.” Aaargh. Funny as gangrene.

Anyway after the flight bookings are all sorted things pick up at the cricket. KP comes in to bat and starts thumping the ball to all parts! Great stand with Cook and it seems that if this carries on, a result might be a possibility if we allow ourselves enough time to bowl West Indies out in the fourth innings.

Then Cook is controversially given out by Daryl Harper. Cue Tony Cosier on the radio” The third umpire should be given a choice of phone a friend or ask the audience!”

Mint. Take it he thought Cook wasn’t out as well.

The game finishes for the day with KP still batting forcefully , and as this now becomes technically our last night together we all retire to the Kapok Hotel where the Blade group are staying for some posh scran.

Son of gives the 3 year old Thomas Blade a swimming lesson by hurling him fully clothed into the deep end of the hotel swimming pool, then diving in after him like some kind of Baywatch refugee after Mrs Blade politely points out that Thomas cannot swim.

We enjoy a lovely meal and utter confusion regarding the bill then results. It takes five hotel staff to try to negotiate the correct payment out of Herbie – no contest.

Herbie tells them which items on the bill we have not ordered and the offending amounts are duly deducted.

Unfortunately soon it will be goodbye for Herbie , Vimto and Wycombe — but not before one last hoorah.

From nowhere Wycombes’ pirate dress is produced – Mr Blade, were you planning to wear this down Bramall Lane to celebrate promotion?

Thomas Blade gets very excited and it is obvious to all that he wishes Wycombe to re-enact his role from Trevor’s rum shack in Barbados.

In front of an assembly of hotel guests he does not know, Wycombe is understandably reluctant.

How can you refuse a reasonable request from a three year old, Wycombe?

How can you refuse, when two very large “mates” hold you down and force a pirate dress over your head?

Goodbyes are said by Herbie , Vimto and a rather distracted Wycombe.

Little do they suspect the drama that will unfold the following day when they are island-hopping.

Quote of the day

Thomas Blade “ Wycombe put your dress on. Wycombe, Wycombe put the dress on !”


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