South Africa Tour 2009/10

Victory in Durban!

Hi everyone

Day 5 in Durban started routinely enough. I awoke to a text message from Tractor " Midnight, please can I have your mossie cream to rub on my poor little Tommy - he has had some more bites during the night and is suffering so".

After suppressing my laughter for ten minutes in the shower we headed down to Kingsmead for the last rites. In a fit of over-keenness I had bought day 5 tickets for our group the previous afternoon @ 40 rand apiece - and we were now being admitted for free. Wycombe, who had lost £400 at the casino two nights ago, £300 at the casino last night and just received a bill from Avis for £800 taken directly from his credit card, wasted no time in taking the mickey over my mis-spent 200 rand (£17).

England did the business as expected at 10.40am Durban time and after the usual Barmy Army singing and celebrations we headed off to the Banana Backpackers / Red Sonja's to celebrate.

Herbie and myself filmed a Judith Chalmers style documentary about the accomodation, which hopefully you will soon be able to see on the web site.

We are pleased to announce the appointment of several more associate members into the Addis Army who have mply fulfilled the entry requirement of joining our lager / cider frenzy. These are as follows:

Three lads from Kendal - Clem : Ben : and Shane, known to his friends as "crispy". The reasons for this name are more fully explained in Herbies video masterpiece.

George , who accompanied Tremers and myself around New Zealand and in truth should already be on site.

Posh Margaret, our cultured friend from Lords who likes Castle lager too much for her own good.

James, who has manfully suffered the rigours of the Banana backpackers with Tom and Tractor.

And last but not least the lovely Hyacinth, wife of SP, who now has the enviable Test record of played one / won one.

Photos of all these lovely folk will be available shortly.

The day got off to a messy start on the Banana balcony where we had been joined for a celebration drink by a number of the Jason Lee lookalikes who double up in Sonja's. The flimsy old plastic chair I was sitting on collapsed and I went down onto the deck in slow motion , spilling my bottle of cider in the process.

After the laughter had subsided we noticed Wycombe had not seen me fall as he was in the gents. Rather unkindly, PC Tintin replaced his chair with my knackered one and true to form he promptly sat in it and collapsed in heap. What happened next was more unexpected.

Before the hoots of laughter had died down Wycombe, thinking his chair had somehow "slipped" on my spilt cider, immediately set the chair up again, sat in it again, and collapsed in a heap on the floor again. Herbie especially laughed his internal organs out and I must confess I havent giggled as much since my first Norman Wisdom film in 1964. "Mr Grimsdale!!".

We then went to Joe Cool's for more beer / cider and afterwards a game of beach cricket was had. The Kendal boys, who are all cricketers, must have planned for my arrival as when I went down to field after about ten ciders, every shot was played in my direction until I caught Ben out. My turn to bat resulted in a long innings including two massive sixes hit off Clem onto the promenade.

When I was finally out by virtue of a stunning catch behind the stumps by Tom, Wycombe came in to bat. After one delivery the ball was lost under the pier. Game over. What a Jonah.

After more drinks at Joe Cools we returned to Bananas, purchasing a pineapple on the way for twenty rand - things were getting messy but we headed up to Morningside for the first time and started on the Guinness.

On our previous trip we had eaten in a wonderful Indian restaurant called "Spice" and I retraced the place to find it had now changed to an Italian - called rather uninspringly "Spiga". A democratic vote was held as to whether Spiga or Butcher Boys for dinner and with a coin toss needed to decide Spiga got the vote.

This did not please Tractor, who was getting tired and emotional.

" I dont want Italian but if we have to go in one I dont want to go in some grotty pizza parlour Midnight has seen". She was in for a pleasant surprise!

As we sat down for what would be an excellent meal Tractor noticed that Graeme Smith was sat inside the restaurant.

Very soon, he was joined by Paul Harris, AB De Villiers , Jacques Kallis ( of " Hit the road, Jacques" fame ) and Mark Boucher.

In a frenzy of blatant showboating Tractor flitted between the cricketers like a moth buzzing round a candle obtaining some excellent photos despite the efforts of Tom butting in.

Tractor has now revised her opinion of my choice of restaurants!

We are now heading down to Capetown to meet the Blade party so New Years Eve promises to be a quiet and sober affair.


Love to all

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