West Indies Tour 2009

West Indies Tour 2009: What do we do when we've got no cricket - Day 7

With the test match concluding in a draw yesterday , the obvious solution today is the beach.

Dover beach by reggae bus , to be precise and with the aid of a hastily purchased ( by Freddie ) cricket bat for $25 Barbados , and three filled water bottles inserted into the sand as stumps , a game of beach cricket is arranged.

Herbie has not turned up for the beach cricket , given his track record of golden ducks in previous fixtures this is perhaps not surprising , but he will meet us later in the pub.

Vinny has similarly been delayed by a life or death Premiership football match being shown that lunch time by Sky. However he will join us in time to participate , surprisingly well in fact on debut.

Simon is otherwise engaged. He has rather foolishly agreed to hire a minibus tomorrow , and take us all on a tour of the island! He is in Bridgetown sourcing a suitable vehicle - more of this in Tour Diary 8.

The game commences.

Midnight has the honour of the first wicket of the day , bowling Wycombe round his legs with his non-spinning dibbly-dobblers.

Wycome however enjoys quick revenge as after only two balls, Midnight is caught and bowled from a top edge trying to hit him onto the South American mainland.

Midnight retires behind the stumps fuming.

Walt’s stylish but brief innings is brought to a halt by a spectacular falling catch by Vinny , newly arrived from Bubba’s Sports Bar , off his own bowling.

Young Thomas Blade puts us all to shame with his excellent and legal bowling action , which the likes of Amjad Khan would be well advised to study.

Fatigue , heat and the tide force stumps early ; though not before an itinerant beach aloe-vera seller has approached Wycombe for a sale.

“Hey man , yo burnin’ real baad. Try some o dis”

The aloe-vera man takes a large piece of cactus from his bag and rubs the gel from the cactus over Wycombes shoulders and back : then without charging him anything slips away as quietly as he had appeared. Wycs , not wishing to risk a day without third degree burns , runs straight into the sea as soon as the aloe-vera man has gone, to wash off the offending cactus gel. His back has now turned that many different colours and shades through sunburn it is reminiscent of one of those “lighthouse” coloured sand filled egg timers that I remember so fondly from childhood holidays in Llandudno and Colwyn bay.

After the beach most of us repair straight to the Ship Inn , which is a large English style pub in the Gap frequented by the Barmy Army, and the usual collection of

" we cant go a day without watching the Premiership on Sky” type Brits are drinking Carling and watching an exciting football fixture involving, from memory , Middlesbrough.

The trip back to Tara involves a 20 minute taxi ride so some of us decide to stay out for the evening and eat at the posh restaurant opposite , called Harlequin.

This is after Midnights first choice , a Chinese restaurant , is avoided only by the last minute sighting of two vomiting women on the pavement and a white red-crossed van marked “ Salmonella cases only - care” parked outside the entrance.

Son of , Streetfly , Freddie and the Saint decide to return to Tara to get ready for a later night out on their return to the Gap.

They expect to meet Herbie when they get back but ten minutes after they leave for Tara we receive a call from Herbie stating he is also on his way to The Ship , in the opposite direction , having locked

up the villa tighter than Strangeways and taken the key with him.

We think the boys will have to attempt forced entry into our Villa , but luckily Herbie has forgotten to lock the kitchen door. Just as well there are no rudeboys nearby.

When the day party returns to Tara after a lovely meal – which the mosquitoes also enjoyed - the much anticipated date arranged by the nameless one with Ulex has been ‘postponed’.

However , Son of has received a call from Junior of Gangsta Cabs. Junior is bored , and is asking Son of if he wants to go out for a drink with him!!

Quote of the day

To Harlequin maitre de “ Table for ten please – we haven’t got a reservation and were wearing beach gear – how long will it be ? “


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